on reading...

ahh..i love to read. if i have all the time in the world and i could spend it in reading alone i thought that would be great. however, my eyes get easily strain and i usually fall asleep esp. when i get to the boring part. i would love to read all the books written by my favorite authors and anything that catches my interest. maybe i should write a checklist so i can prioritize one from the other. i hope i could find someone also who's interest in books is the same as mine so he could read to me when i'm too tired to do so. i think that would be lovely if someone could read to me. sweet even. :)

idlip

"Neither away nor asleep
Dwell somewhere in between
Neither someone or something
Be it life alone
I walk it like a park
Half real, half fancy"
-Imago's Idlip

some songs...

some songs that will make you cry or smile...

some will make you forget or remember...

some will make you fall in or out of love...

some will make you feel good or bad...

some will help you understand or complicate things,

and some are really just worth playing time and again...

quotable quotes

I've been busy lately managing my expenses and getting through last week. But as promise I’ll keep posting whatever and whenever I can. So here’s some quotable quotes from Paulo Coelho’s The Witch of Portobello. I’ve read the book last June. It’s actually the fourth book of Paulo Coelho that I’ve read. I just can’t get enough of Paulo’s books.


"You are what you believe yourself to be.'Don't be like those people who believe in “positive thinking” and tell themselvesthat they're loved and strong and capable. You don't need to do that, because youknow it already. And when you doubt it which happens, I think, quite often at thisstage of evolution – do as I suggested. Instead of trying to prove that you're betterthan you think, just laugh. Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View youranxieties with humour. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used to it."

"What do you want? You can't want to be happy, because that's too easy and tooboring. You can't want only to love, because that's impossible. What do you want?You want to justify your life, to live it as intensely as possible. That is at once atrap and a source of ecstasy. Try to be alert to that danger, and experience the joyand the adventure of being that woman who is beyond the image reflected in themirror."

The light is unstable, the wind blows it out, the lightning ignites it, it is never simply there, shining like the sun, but it is worth fighting for."

“I dance whenever I can, but music only exists because the pauses exist, and sentences only exist because the blank spaces exist. When I'm doing something, I feel complete, but no one can keep active twenty-four hours a day. As soon as I stop, I feel there's something lacking. You've often said to me that I'm a naturally restless person, but I didn't choose to be that way. I'd like to sit here quietly, watching television, but I can't. My brain won't stop. Sometimes, I think I'm going mad. I need always to be dancing, writing, selling land, taking care of Viorel, or reading whatever I find to read. Do you think that's normal?”

“I can see the storm approaching. Like all storms, it brings destruction, but, at the same time, it soaks the fields, and the wisdom of the heavens falls with the rain. Like all storms, it will pass. The more violent it is, the more quickly it will pass. I have, thank God, learned to weather storms.”


"Everything is at once so simple and so complicated! It's simple because all it takes is a change of attitude."

"love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On
the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking
ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of
ecstasy and agony."

"When we step out of our normal world and leave behind us all
the usual barriers and prejudices, we tend to become more adventurous."

“The best way to discover interesting places is to get lost.”

"Try to fill your life again with a little fantasy; above our heads is a sky about
which the whole of humanity – after thousands of years spent observing it – has
given various apparently reasonable explanations. Forget everything you've ever
learned about the stars and they'll once more be transformed into angels, or into
children, or into whatever you want to believe at that moment. It won't make you
more stupid – after all, it's only a game – but it could enrich your life."


'Try to feel good about yourself even when you feel like the least worthy of
creatures. Reject all those negative thoughts and let the Mother take possession of
your body and soul; surrender yourself to dance or to silence or to ordinary,
everyday activities – like taking your son to school, preparing supper, making sure
the house is tidy. “

“Everything is worship if your mind is focused on the present moment.”

"Don't try to convince anyone of anything. When you don't know something, ask
or go away and find out. But when you do act, be like the silent, flowing river and
open yourself to a greater energy. Believe – simply believe that you can."

'Be clear. 'Re-programme yourself every minute of each day with thoughts that make you
grow. When you're feeling irritated or confused, try to laugh at yourself. Laugh out
loud at this woman tormented by doubts and anxieties, convinced that her
problems are the most important thing in the world. Laugh at the sheer absurdity
of the situation, at the fact that despite being a manifestation of the Mother, you
still believe God is a man who lays down the rules. Most of our problems stem
from just that – from following rules. 'Concentrate."

The fact is, I love it when a man opens the door for me. According to etiquette this means: “She needs me to do this because she's fragile”, but in my soul is written: “I'm being treated like a goddess. I'm a queen.”


'Is learning just putting things on a shelf or is it discarding whatever is no longer useful and then continuing on your way feeling lighter?'


"That's what life is like for people like you and me. We're constantly destroying and
rebuilding ourselves."

"What you need to know is, are you in a position to give him the love he needs. And whatever happens or doesn't happen will be equally gratifying. Knowing that you are capable of love is enough. If it isn't him, it will be someone else. You've discovered a wellspring, simply allow it to flow and it will fill your world. Don't try to keep a safe distance so as to see what happens. Don't wait to be certain before you take a step. What
you give, you will receive, although it might sometimes come from the place you
least expect."

reflection...

Volunteering as a Tutor for Matangtubig has opened my eyes to many sad realities that Filipino families living in slum areas are facing today. This is my first time to volunteer and I remember I was really hesitant to become one back then because I thought I wasn’t ready, well I could thought of many reasons not to. However, when I was finally convinced by my friend Karla, it wasn’t really bad as I thought. Then my Saturday afternoons were never the same again.
I was able to spend my time more worthwhile with the kids from Matangtubig. I came to teach and help them and yet in the process I was learning more from the children. We are teaching them basic Math & English but little did they know they’re teaching us great lessons in life. The kids, well they’re kids and they could be rough at times but you just have to be really patient with them. At the end of the day, their smiles and heart warming “thank you” is all that matters to make you look forward and plan next week’s activities for them.


This is the reflection that I've submitted last September 26 to Sr. Merle of OLSH for their newsletter. I wish I could have done better than this but I didn't have much time. It's been a long time that I was asked to write about something. It would have been something longer and more detailed sharing of my experiences with the kids. Well, there is always next time... :)

matangtubig...

I can’t remember the exact date but it was one of those Saturday where my friend Karla sent me a message to go with her to meet up with the sisters to check out their adopted baranggay. One of Karla's officemate who works as a Translator is an apprentice of DOLSH or better known as beige sisters. I was hesitant to go to the place because I remember I was on my state of solitude that day and I prefer to stay at home than go to depressed areas fearing I might get more depressed with their situation. After several exchange of text messages and reasoning out why I shouldn't come my friend wins. So I went up to meet with her reluctantly hoping she'll change her mind. Evil(hehehe). So we arrived late, I think it was around 2:00PM and we walked about a mile along E-Rodriguez together with the sisters. It was very hot that day but we managed to arrive at Matangtubig on tricycle. When we arrived at the place, some people were staring at Karla and me maybe thinking who's the strangers(I say pretty strangers.hahaha.). The kids know the sisters since they've been under their program for quite a few years now. The kids asked for the sisters’ hands to 'mano' and to my surprise they also did the same to us calling us “sister” as well. They thought we were their apprentice. :)

The place is located near a river. When I saw the river, I imagined it was a beautiful river back then. If the rocks could only talk. It such a shame the river now is nothing but a dumping area for them and the nearby residents. Then I thought maybe that's why the place was called Matangtubig because it’s situated near a river. Nobody can really tell me exactly that time why they name the place Matangtubig. Perhaps, they don't also understand why I really wanted to know. According to Sister Carmen, it was probably the first settlers who decided to call the place that. There must be reason for that name I thought. It just intrigues me because personally I like the name. It is 'watery eye' if you translate it in English.

We went to visit some of the houses of the residents there. We heard some of their happy and sad stories; it was mentally and emotionally draining for me that day. I had a headache that day because of the heat or I guess I wasn't prepared to see the reality of their situation. The houses there are usually built in scrap materials, I doubt if it could ever withstand a storm, to my surprise Sister Hannah said it does. After going through house to house and checking the condition of some residents there Sister Carmen looks worried. She's worried that we're not going to volunteer for them anymore after what we've have seen and heard.

Squatters area and its people is not new to me after all I grew up in one barangay where my school used to do outreach programs . What I'm worried that time is that will I won't be able to keep my word once I said "yes" and who will do my part if I won't be able to carry it out. Thank heavens we were able to work out our schedule and I was able to gain friends with the other volunteers and the OLSH sisters. Initially the plan was every other week however with the number of kids, we decided to come every Saturday along with Lyra, Kathy and Heba. My Saturdays were never the same again. :-)

Long ago, and oh so far away

rain, rain go away come again this afternoon...rain always makes me feel melodramatic and now this song keeps playing in my head..

Long ago, and oh so far away
I fell in love with you,
before the second show.
Your guitar, it sounds so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
it's just the radio.
Don't you remember
you told me you loved me, baby?
You said you'd be coming back this way again,
maybe.
aby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby,
I love you. I really do.

i really do...